Or like we love to call him, OCD! He has many: he can't toss away a used match, he eats sandwiches backwards and he punches you in the gut before he tells you that he loves you.
What a sweetie...
Oscar Charles Darwin
Oona Moona!
A small Robot from the Planet Vulcan, she once pissed Kirk so much that he kicked her out the planet.
But, in his sweetest and most affected voice, while she left, he said this: of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, hers was the most... human.
Leticia, the Missing Link.
Yes, a breakthrough in Science, we finally found it and she lives in Caimito. While the Panther was getting crap for eating animals, she was eating "Atómicos" at all the small bars there.
She said she likes men who taste like Don Q the best.
Nuno the Nymphomaniac Bunny from Nantucket.
He used Rogaine way too much on his ears because a stripper told him once he was a little too bald in some places. The sad thing is... he didn't get his lapdance in the Champagne room.
Patricia the Red Monkey.
While battling Batman, she accidentally fell in a bucket of house paint. The moron has not realized that she can just wash it away...
Toño the Catatonic Dog.
He just stares at you and does nothing. I think it was a treat he had back in 1986... Who knows. He's creepy
Gaspar, the Creative Director from Hell.
His mouth open and closes, so that way you can do with him what you can't do with your real -life one: SHUT HIM UP!
Conchita, the Dumbest Cheerleader known to man.
She's currently dating Gomez but has no clue of her dark future ahead.
Diego the Psychic Duck.
Put your hands on his furry green head and you will learn... Nothing 'cause he's a fraud. But he will charge you almost 80 bucks anyways... Sad. Sad.
Moos TaPha.
He recently arrived from Pakistan. Single and 25, he loves to serenate women with his viola. Careful now, he spikes drinks, ladies.
Tongo Bongo.
He's a High School Cheerleader. In other words, he sucks and has no desire of being truly unique and different.
Peco Castro.
He recently escaped Cuba when Fidel got sick as hell. Although he is famous for torturing at Guantanamo, he has a heart. He loves to ride bikes in summer and take out prisoner's fingernails in the winter. Sweetie.
Bianca Morrison.
A 50 something divorced millionairess that loves her boy toys. She recently dumped one 20 year old at her favorite Sushi restaurant. The guy cried like a baby. Moving on to greener pastures, are we, Bianca?
Jonathan Campbell, Jr.
He invented the Post It, the Xbox 360, the iPhone and Juicy Fruit. The thing is, this mad scientist never had the chance to patent all his ideas... So he's broke.
Gustavo, the jaded daywalker.
Some bimbo made his life miserable and now every woman must pay. Heard that song before, right? Oh yes, he's a daywalker because he has red hair but missing freckles.
Palurdo, the dumbass.
He's the kind that has no social skills, Son-of-Sam-like. He collects stamps. What a loser. Still, he has a good heart somewhere in there...
Anastasia, the Voodoo Princess.
She is a sweetie until you break her heart, then... prepare for Fatal Attraction Two.
Gutierrez, the mexican club singer.
Just think of Frank Sinatra's talent, now picture someone opposite that, completely. He loves to bet on horses, drinks Tecate with milk at nights and hits like a girl.
Tobias the Evil Duck.
He despises chicken with passion and has the highest IQ for a duck, ever. Careful ladies, he's a forever single guy with no real intentions to commit. He always keeps his relationship status hidden... you know, he always likes to keep his options open!
The Moron Thur
The other not so famous son of Odin. He's the "I love you" drunk type. Once in a while he lights up a doobie but his poison is usually tequila shots. Odin kicked him out of the house and now he's at the airport expecting someone.
Bonny Faccio, the hopeless romantic.
Some douchebag chick broke his heart a long time ago and he hasn't fully recovered.
Marcello, the Low IQ Clown.
No balloon figures, no magic tricks... he's just pathetic. He's in love with Sarah Palin.
Zacquisha, the Hawaiian Princess.
She weds older men for money and then... she steals their organs and leaves the bodies on ice. Cruel...
Frank Esteino, the hairy dead monster.
He's a total Guido from Staten Island. He is the only one who knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.
Gigantor, the Republican Bunny and his sidekick, Toby.
They love to play bingo while completely screwed out of their minds on LSD. They can be separated because deep in their hearts, they truly despise one another.
Shaquisha, the beeyatch.
She's a total freak, she will make your life miserable if you don't comb her weave every day while listening to Bell Biv DeVoe.
Akeem, the ambiguous duck.
When you see him, it's just... nothing is clear with him. He's a don't ask, don't tell guy with an incredible sense of fashion. His role model is Steven Segal. Yeah. WTF...
Rogelio, the idiot bull.
He's such a moron, they kicked him out of Spain because he was a disgrace. He's currently dating a Greek Goat. Imagine the possibilities.
Adalberto, the almost monochromatic Bunny.
He suffers from a variety of OCD's and also extremely hypochondriac. He always thinks he has a pulsating tumor, but he hasn't realized it's his heart. Dumbass.
Cecilia, the PETA hater.
Yep, she wears fur, she eats meat and loves leather. Just, for the love of God, don't throw any more red paint. It's soooo 90's.
Simón the Jamaican Druglord.
He shot the Sheriff, but he didn't shoot the deputy. Whoo hoo hoooooooo
Vladimir the Drunken Duck.
He suffers from Torticollis after a bad kung fu fight in London. Ladies, he's a catch. He's filthy rich and codependent, a perfect mix!
Flora, la bembona.
She's Máximo's twin sister. Nice, cuddly and a little bit twisted but in a good way. She hates Krispy Kreme.
Máximo, the albino drug lord from Colombia.
He has 50 children all across the globe, suffers from Migraines and likes to TiVo anything Kung Fu related.
He is totally color blind. Irony!
Saturniano, the sadomasochistic from hell.
Come on, need I say more? Yes, his mouth opens and closes on command.
Matilde the square cat.
She doesn't talk to anybody, doesn't go out and never even drinks. Someday this crazy bitch is going to stab someone in the back and all the people will say: oooh but she was so shy!
Frank Sinatrocious.
Amongst creepy monsters, he is truly the Chairman of the Board. Feed him Whiskey and Tonic every 12 hours or else.
ConejOso.
Half conejo, Half Demented Human Killing Machine Oso. He's got mommy issues and loves women that are romantic and sweet. He weighs 300 pounds.
Too Lah, the Filipino Princess.
Careful when traveling with her, she likes to "export" things, mainly on other people's bags.
Can you say "body cavity search"? Adopted
Bob the Reluctant Bulimic.
Um. Since he doesn't have a mouth... how does he barf? Food for thought. Pun intended.
Call him a Taco and you probably might get beat up by him.
Yim Chao Meng the sushi chef from hell.
Herrow! Would you like Chicken Chow Men or Cream of YongMen? YOU PAY NOW!
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